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Cacophonous Gut Lumps

by The Tit Mice

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denis the raging toad
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denis the raging toad this album is one of the finest examples of shouting violent mutant harmonic devil songs made out of the scraps and tangle of lucifer's belching embrace.

If you have not already bought this then you are a turd.

It screams insanity and genius within its beer stained breath.

It shits into the shallow end of every indoor children's swimming pool.

It is a remarkable feast of entangled limbs and dirty meat. Favorite track: Medieval Times.
marieke
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1.
Regretful Sabbath 03:55
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(Oh dear) Father forgive me for what I have inflicted on to the world on this Sunday afternoon I didn’t mean to do it, I didn’t mean for this album to turn out this way, I know its deeply immoral of me to expect people to buy it. I’m so sorry to the people who buy this piece of work we have made, I’m sorry for the money that you have unfortunately had to pay. I didn’t mean to do it so badly; I hope you receive it at least slightly gladly And that it doesn’t make you feel any sadlier than you are already, Although I understand you must be at a pretty low ebb To have bought it in the first place Sunday is a day when people should do the things that make them glad Sunday is the day when you should try to do something that doesn’t make other people sad.
2.
Happy Mutant 02:00
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Happy little mutant, in the sun Happy little mutant, having fun Happy little mutant, on the beach Happy little mutant, eating quiche Ha pa pa pa pa pa pa pa happy mutant Happy little mutant, on the street Happy little mutant, look at his feet Happy little mutant, look at his teeth Happy little mutant, he’s eating beef Ha pa pa pa pa pa pa pa happy mutant Happy little mutant, gnawing rind Happy little mutant, that’s what he finds Happy little mutant, he’s drinking wine Happy little mutant, wish he was mine Ha pa pa pa pa pa pa pa happy mutant Happy little mutant, he’s on the town Happy little mutant, sadly wears a frown Happy little mutant, wants to go home Happy little mutant, he is a gnome Ha pa pa pa pa pa pa pa happy happy mutant happy mutant Happy little mutant, wish he was mine Happy little mutant, he’s in decline Happy little mutant, in my pants Happy little mutant, do a dance
3.
MacDonalds Pancake 04:29
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Poor old MacDonald had nothing to eat Poor MacDonald had to eat his piggy’s feet Poor MacDonald had nothing to wear Compact Donald had to slaughter a bear He wore his fleece, he made some cheese He ate some peas with cheese But still life on the farm was hard His goats were no longer producing milk so there was no way for him to produce more lard Now lard was an important thing on this farm, because they used lard in all of their pancakes Mrs Mc Donald the farmer’s wife, every day she’d eaten pancakes all of her life Now there wasn’t a supply of lard, her natural diet had become hard to come by Poor old MacDonald had to find an alternative of lard A tasteless lump of buttery filth Needed to be manufactured, In order to repair this fracture. So he jizzed into a big cube and then made pancakes out of that and fed them to his wife and they lived happily ever after.The end.
4.
No Refunds 06:21
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I bought this album in good faith I was expecting it to be fucking great But when I got home I realised This is the worst of the Tit Mice I want a refund I want a refund I worked hard to buy this record I want a fucking refund The Tit Mice don’t give no refunds No, The Tit Mice don’t give no refunds I’m going to talk to my solicitor I’m going to call consumer watchdog I’ve already been to the citizens advice bureau I have a very good solicitor you know The Tit Mice well we don’t give no refunds The Tit Mice god no we give no refunds You bought the album without giving it proper thought Now look at all the unhappiness that you have caused to yourself None of our business, not our fault, The Tit Mice don’t give no refund, punk Hello this is the police We’ve heard reports that you have been selling shit albums to people of the city of Bristol We’ve had many complaints and a warrant for your arrest, Come on, open up, you silly little wankers, get out of there No, The Tit Mice don’t give no refunds We’re not able to be arrested either The Tit Mice, we don’t need to go to prison If you’re stupid enough to give us a fiver you should be incarcerated yourself We don’t give no refunds You’re so stupid you should be incarcerated yourself We don’t give no refunds In our defence, I’d like to say this album isn’t quite the worst thing we’ve ever recorded We’ve probably done worse things haven’t we? Well most of the people listening to this probably wouldn’t even know because To be honest not many people actually ever bother listening to our things Or ever really buy anything from us, and yet they still encourage us to carry on So it’s kind of your own fault really if you have any problems with the pile of wank you are listening to at the moment I really hope you did give us a fiver though I’m quite poor at the moment really in fact we’re quite, you know, charmed that you actually turn up or bother to say anything nice to us at all And thus the product that you are clutching in your hands you shouldn’t be seeing as a negative thing in any way, but you should see it as a happy little souvenir of the joyous times you have spent listening to our fucking unlistenable music The Tit Mice don’t give refunds Even though this album you are listening to hasn’t been much fun No The Tit Mice, we don’t owe you a refund You can take this compact disk and shove it up your bum, motherfucker Motherfuckers, motherfuckers
5.
Bestial Rage 05:59
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What is this animal that I’m seeing dancing around in front of me Eating bananas with his cheeky grin constantly masturbating What is he? Ape He is an ape, a beast of the forest A creature with a cheeky grin more or less I can’t see the point in trying to explain him anymore he is an ape What is this creature that stands before me popularised by Disney as a creature that could fly with his ears Their cocks are really big about the size of a human being and they have no fears What kind of beast? Elephant What kind of beast is this that I’m seeing right now with his trumpeting tool flying about like he doesn’t give a shit with his massive ears Now I’m sitting in my house feeling sad about not being one of these beasts What is this creature I see before me with his whiskers and pointy ears That mouse would appear to be his feast Why are you in my fucking house you little bastard? Why do I have to keep giving you food? Why do you keep fucking saying miaow at me Even when I kick you with my b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b boot? Why am I not a beast? I want to have a feast of other animals I want to eat other humans too I’m thinking perhaps I’m a cannibal Perhaps one day the zoo keeper will have his wicked way with me and put me in a smaller cage But until then, I've just got to deal with this horrible life and try not to upset people with my bestial rage
6.
Classical Culture 03:46
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Inceptum nostrum, quo primi in Gallia Graecos scriptores in unius corporis aequabilitatem redigere aggressi sumus, commendation et notis praefationum artibus egere non videtur; sed paucis dicendum est, unde ea quam elegimus edendi ratio pendeat. You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album Dudum aegre tuleramus quod tot scriptorium editions veteribus inquinatae vitiis vulgo circumferrentur ataque adeo saepius repeterentur, dum exstarent eorumdem scriptorium emendatae et a summis criticis antique nitori restitutae: anon oportuit illorum insque igeniorum, You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album quae optima quique nostratioum laudibus et imitation clebrarunt, opera popularibus nostris exbiberi pura, emendate, quantum fiery potest libera a depravatione barbariae quam transierant? Hoc igitur primum et praecipue curamus, ut non solum ex optitmis quae extant editionibus scriptorium quisque exprismatur, sed harum etiam multas criticis celeberrimis tradidimus denuo examinandas et emendandas; praeterea, ubicumque res videtur postulare, Regiae Bibliothecae manuscriptos imus consultum. We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album Classical intellectual music for you people studying a PHD Everybody feeling sexy about the Greeks And Latin Motherfuckers You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album You are a fool for buying this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album You are such fools for buying this album You are such fools for buying this album You are such fools for buying this album You are such fools for buying this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album We are such fools for making this album You are such fools for buying this album You are such fools for buying this album We are such fools for making this album You are such fools for buying this album Hoc igitur primum et praecipue curamus, ut non solum ex optitmis quae extant editionibus scriptorium quisque exprismatur, sed harum etiam multas criticis celeberrimis tradidimus denuo examinandas et emendandas; praeterea, ubicumque res videtur postulare, Regiae Bibliothecae manuscriptos imus consultum. Stop
7.
Maliks 04:23
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Hello Mr Malik its a super morning Hello Mr Malik its not even remotely boring Nice to come to your lovely shop see all the drug dealers Surrounded by scaggy prostitutes drinking Special Brew There is a special reason why I made this trip to come to your little shop today The reason is I want to fill my ugly stinking pooper face I want to have a tasty snack that I can make with boiling water And put the horrible sachet of filthy crap on the top Maliks Super Noodles Maliks Super Noodles Gone are the days when Pot Noodle was the top snack for chavs Gone are the days when Super Noodles were such a massive brand Now your own brand is the only thing that can tick the little box that says ‘ding a ling’ I want to taste your dirty Super Noodles Maliks own brand filthy noodles Maliks own brand filthy noodles ‘Mate, can I buy a fag off you I’ll roll it myself honest Go on I’ll give you 10p Go on give us a fag Are you looking at my bird?’ That’s the place to go if you want to get in a fight or be asked for a free fag That’s the place to go if eating bad noodles, if that’s your bag Its the place to go if you want to get stabbed by a gang member or pick up a prostitute Its the place to go if its St Paul’s Carnival and you need a wee Maliks Supermarket Maliks Supermarket You're an idiot for buying this album, a fucking idiot Thanks for the fiver. Thankyou.
8.
Medieval Times 03:41
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Medieval times medieval crimes Such as putting bubonic plague into your scrotum Medieval kings wobbling their ding-a-lings Making the peasants dance in their golden showers Medieval times, medieval crimes It’s not very nice in the dark ages Flicking through Old Testament pages Robin Hood can’t do a fucking thing about the horrible times That the people of Worksop are having to live through Medieval times, medieval crimes Medieval hats, medieval twats Look at their beards Look at their muddy clothes Look at their feral animals Nobody can see nobody knows Nobody can tell how much of a bad time they are having in Worksop Medieval times, medieval crimes Medieval times, medieval crimes Medieval
9.
Darling 06:09
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Darling, I just checked the bank account and I have seen a deposit of five pounds has been paid to the Tit Mice, was it for that album you were listening to? Don’t you realise our children must eat You are killing our family by listening to this rubbish Five pounds Five whole English pounds was spent on that Tit Mouse album Fair play it didn’t have the hiss that their tape albums used to have But bloody hell it was completely unlistenable I can’t believe you have done this to our family You’ve taken five pounds away We could have spent it on cheese or grain or like muesli or something But you spent it on a Tit Mouse album Whats this? You bought a t-shirt? It cost you fifteen pounds! Do you realise they sold one of them to their so called producer of their new album for only a fiver! (it was a tenner actually) Sorry, a tenner Apparently he spilt wine all over it and he doesn’t think it’s worth giving the seller of the product ten pounds for but in my opinion they are worth ten pounds, well they’re worth fifteen but shit a tenner’s fine really isn’t it? Anyway you’re distracting me from the point You shouldn’t have bought this album it was five fucking pounds Our children must eat Do you expect us to feed them shit MP3s by the fucking Tit Mice? NO! Do you expect us to feed them t shirts that cost you ten fucking pounds, covered with wine that you didn’t even pay ten pounds for? NO! You’re destroying this family Your lust for the Tit Mice is destroying our lives Ditch these bastards now Stop buying Tit Mouse products Get out of my house The marriage is over
10.
Bad Hunting Techniques 06:06
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It was the first time I went hunting I took out all of my weapons and things I aimed them for the heart of the nearest kangaroo Then you won’t believe what I was expected to do Climb into the pouch I was digging, digging so hard, trying to make some garden grow I was thumping into the ground trying to make a special sound To attract all of the moles from out of their holes I was trying to make the animals come along But you won’t believe me I fisted them all I was taken fishing by my grandfather I was taken out on a little tiny boat You know this aint the place to be catching a goat We were looking for fishes to go on our dishes Then we saw a whale And I climbed into it’s blow hole Bad hunting techniques they should make you weep but instead they turn me on Bad hunting techniques they should make us all weep but instead they turn me on Badger baiting, more like masturbating over badgers that I don’t want living on my farm Fox hunting, more like hunting the fuck out of all those cuntish foxes and then ripping their insides out and masturbating into them and fucking the mother fox as hard as I fucking possibly can up the fucking ass I want to kill all of the animals Kill all the animals Bad hunting techniques they should make you weep but instead they turn me on Bad hunting techniques they should make you weep but instead they just turn me on Bad hunting techniques
11.
On Holiday 01:44
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Jim has gone on holiday Now I had to go to the Spar today It’s not very cheap buying beer in the Spar Greenbank has gone on holiday Now it’s been taken over by posh people Don’t go to Greenbank it’s full of posh people Jim don’t go on holiday You have made a very hard price to pay Greenbank on holiday Come back you’re not the same You’re no longer run by a drug dealer no way
12.
Brick Tent Tit House 03:03
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There’s a big table been built outside it’s a nice place for the plants to ride They look like volcanoes but I know that the only way they’ll stay up is if the wind doesn’t blow Bike lock mixed with plant table it’s the thing you will hear in a fable It was built by Pete by his own bare hands and a mountain of tools from a foreign land It was a Brick Tent but it got knocked down it got turned inside out and turned to Tit Mouse town It burned down because we’re too immature to keep up a house and not end up poor But the smell upstairs was unbelievable no one cared but I had to push and pull It was horrible and it smelt of wee and I had to inhale Neil and Jess’ dead skin But I stole some of Jess’ books and I stole some of Neil’s as well And I made all the filth go out of my life and I made my health have a normal strife
13.
Captain Of Your Ship 02:59
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This is the captain of your ship calling It’s time to hit the cabin boy and no stalling This is the captain of your ship calling It’s time to try and kill a badger and no stalling This is the matron of your restaurant calling It’s time to try to kill the customers and no stalling This is the landlord of your pub calling Last orders it is time to leave and no stalling This is the gardener of your land calling I have found an unexploded bomb and it’s going to fucking blow Evacuate the area make sure that no one is still there Make sure that no one is in the radius of the fucking blast Make sure that everybody is hidden underground Make sure that they don’t feel the impact or the fucking sound
14.
Psychling in Bristol 02:33
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Such a long way to go to get to Stokes Croft Even fucking further to get to Clifton Gotta cycle up those hills Gotta make sure you’re not on pills When you try to get anywhere in this fucking city of cycles Riding for ten minutes then the other guys I was cycling with Decided to go a stupid way make it drag out even longer When I got to the boozer I felt slightly awkward sitting there Spent all my money like I didn’t have a care Cycling in Bristol All the cyclists well they reckon they’re so fucking cool Now the cyclists they must be playing me for a fool I think that it’s too easy to be a cycle twat in this city I don’t know how it is possible to do anything else Cycling in Bristol Bike riders are twats
15.
Cocktail Bar 02:21
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Mull of Kintyre, waves come from the sea Cocktail waitresses come from a similar place But it’s made of wee Always wanting to be in the Mull of Kintyre Standing next to a pile of burning tyres Cocktail waitresses doing their thing Whilst I force some of this seaweed up my ring I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar Standing next to a pile of burning tyres Dreaming about the fucking Mull of Kintyre I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar Don’t you want me baby? I was masturbating over a pile of burning tyres Whilst causing nuclear explosions over the Mull of Kintyre Working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
16.
Disco Home Time 04:45
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In the disco covered in blisters man I’ve missed her covered in blisters in the disco Listening to techno covered in blisters god how I miss her from the disco Covered in blisters she was my sister Covered in blisters how I miss her from the disco Listening to techno Feel like I want to fist her eating lots of disco biscuits she’s covered in blisters she’s covered in blisters she was my sister Covered in blisters in the disco listening to techno Covered in blisters Have you ever been covered in blisters have you ever felt that you miss her covered in blisters in the disco listening to techno Disco, covered in blisters, god how I missed her, at the disco Listening to myself smoking lots of blow in the disco Its home time, you’ve committed your crime you’ve been covered in blisters in the disco listening to techno Now its home time Now its home time Home time Home time Home time Home time Home time Home time Squeezing your spots and blisters in the disco now its home time home time Squeezing your spots and blisters in the disco it is home time Listening to techno in the disco covered in blisters god I want to fist her She was my sister god I have missed her I was so covered in blisters it was the Disco home time Home time Disco home time

about

This is our finest digitally recorded material, improvised from scratch with no rehearsal. Tracks 1-9 are from our 'exile sessions' and 10-15 were recorded in 'The Tit House'. Each Tit Mouse makes £1 each time the album is purchased.

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released May 1, 2014

The Tit Mice are Dan Petley, Harry Westbrook and Andrew Gillan

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The Tit Mice Bristol, UK

The Tit Mice were an improvisational collective formed in Bristol on new years day 2013. Their intention was just to play music. However, upon attempting to do this they realised the resulting masterpieces were so powerful and moving they could either save the world or plunge civilisation into a new dark age. The latter happened. They continue to make rubbish music as an unstructured collective. ... more

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