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lyrics

1, 2, 3, 4,

Innkeeper, could you give us a double sleeper
Because we’re supposed to be giving birth
To the saviour of the Earth
(Supposedly… that’s what some angel guy said or something anyway)

If you can give us some board tonight
Then you know that your world will be filled with light
Three Kings they came along
They sang him quite a lot of special songs
Probably a lot like this one
Except with less blasphemy
And less catastrophe to civilisation

If you can give us some room
Where we can save the Earth from impending doom

But the innkeeper had different ideas…
The only room that he could possibly think of was the microwave around the back of his inn
The one that had a very precariously, uh, situated, uh, on and off button...

I wonder what’ll happen next eh?

Next along came the shepherds
They all brought magic gifts
And then they looked at the little baby
And they gave him a spliff

One of the shepherds because he was a bit out of his face
He'd been banging loads of acid and ketamine all day
And he didn't know he was going to cause this disgrace
When he leant against the on/off button of the microwave

Jesus Mary and Joseph
And the three wise men and the shepherds
Were cooked like a kebab
The world is doomed

The world is doomed
The world is doomed
The world is doomed
The world is doomed

Because the entire holy family has been turned into a kebab
And there wasn't even any chilli sauce to had in those days

How could this have happened?
It could only be a trap that somebody set

The evil innkeeper
Christmas has been ruined
Christmas has been ruined
By the evil innkeeper

credits

from Inappropriate Mince Pie Decorations, released November 23, 2014

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The Tit Mice Bristol, UK

The Tit Mice were an improvisational collective formed in Bristol on new years day 2013. Their intention was just to play music. However, upon attempting to do this they realised the resulting masterpieces were so powerful and moving they could either save the world or plunge civilisation into a new dark age. The latter happened. They continue to make rubbish music as an unstructured collective. ... more

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