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No Refunds

from Cacophonous Gut Lumps by The Tit Mice

/

lyrics

I bought this album in good faith
I was expecting it to be fucking great
But when I got home I realised
This is the worst of the Tit Mice

I want a refund
I want a refund
I worked hard to buy this record
I want a fucking refund

The Tit Mice don’t give no refunds
No, The Tit Mice don’t give no refunds

I’m going to talk to my solicitor
I’m going to call consumer watchdog
I’ve already been to the citizens advice bureau
I have a very good solicitor you know

The Tit Mice well we don’t give no refunds
The Tit Mice god no we give no refunds

You bought the album without giving it proper thought
Now look at all the unhappiness that you have caused to yourself
None of our business, not our fault,
The Tit Mice don’t give no refund, punk

Hello this is the police
We’ve heard reports that you have been selling shit albums to people of the city of Bristol
We’ve had many complaints and a warrant for your arrest,
Come on, open up, you silly little wankers, get out of there

No, The Tit Mice don’t give no refunds
We’re not able to be arrested either
The Tit Mice, we don’t need to go to prison
If you’re stupid enough to give us a fiver you should be incarcerated yourself
We don’t give no refunds
You’re so stupid you should be incarcerated yourself
We don’t give no refunds

In our defence, I’d like to say this album isn’t quite the worst thing we’ve ever recorded
We’ve probably done worse things haven’t we?
Well most of the people listening to this probably wouldn’t even know because
To be honest not many people actually ever bother listening to our things
Or ever really buy anything from us, and yet they still encourage us to carry on
So it’s kind of your own fault really if you have any problems with the pile of wank you are listening to at the moment
I really hope you did give us a fiver though
I’m quite poor at the moment really in fact we’re quite, you know, charmed that you actually turn up or bother to say anything nice to us at all
And thus the product that you are clutching in your hands you shouldn’t be seeing as a negative thing in any way, but you should see it as a happy little souvenir of the joyous times you have spent listening to our fucking unlistenable music

The Tit Mice don’t give refunds
Even though this album you are listening to hasn’t been much fun
No The Tit Mice, we don’t owe you a refund
You can take this compact disk and shove it up your bum, motherfucker

Motherfuckers, motherfuckers

credits

from Cacophonous Gut Lumps, released May 1, 2014

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The Tit Mice Bristol, UK

The Tit Mice were an improvisational collective formed in Bristol on new years day 2013. Their intention was just to play music. However, upon attempting to do this they realised the resulting masterpieces were so powerful and moving they could either save the world or plunge civilisation into a new dark age. The latter happened. They continue to make rubbish music as an unstructured collective. ... more

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